Remember Mr. Craig’s List? Well, he’s still in the picture. Sorta. We were supposed to have a romantic date tonight – a little candlelight, a little wine, and little soft music – and poof! Gone. As I was driving to a 5-year-old’s birthday party around 2pm today, he texted me and cancelled. I should’ve expected it. It was too good to be true. We were chatting last night about how it would have been fun being together on the lockdown, etc etc etc, and then we decided he’d come over to my place tonight. I even shaved my legs.

And then I got the text while driving to my friend’s house. I couldn’t respond right away because I was driving, but eventually, I responded with an unhappy face and a “I understand.” His excuse was totally justified. He had the kids this weekend and he couldn’t get someone to chill with his youngest whilst he was hanging with me. Can’t blame a Dad for that. But, it keeps reminding me of a something I said to him when we were out last weekend. He was talking about being 46, divorced, and a father of two teenagers and I pointed out that I am 38, single, and never married. Frankly, I have the freedom to pick up and go and do whatever I want, whenever I want. Sure, I have a job and bills and stuff, but no one else is depending on me for food, shelter, or a ride to the movies.

The reality is that many of the guys in my age bracket are divorced with kids. I don’t want to refer to their children as “baggage” because they’re probably amazing kids but let’s just say that they come with obligations that I, frankly, don’t have. And then of course I start to overanalyze and think that he’s just not that interested in me. But I don’t know that. Maybe he is just a good dad and his priority is his kids. I’m not used to that.

Ugh. Just needed to vent about it and be a little sad. It’s just been so long since I felt a connection with someone and I was excited about it. To be continued, I hope….